Portmanteau Knocking

Agent Smith: You hear that, Mr. Portscanderson? That’s the sound of inevitability, that’s the sound of your deauth… Goodbye, Mr. Portscanderson!

Me: My name… is Neologism!

. . .

APT (Artificially Probable Threat)

The terrible, horrible, no-good very-bad world-ending scenario that the security start-up vendor at RSA describes to you in their sales pitch in order to get your company to spend a obscene amount of money on their ‘Next-Gen’ software product that suspiciously doesn’t come with any kind of performance guarantee, liability insurance or third-party audit.


Bare Metal Alchemist
Bare metal programmers that perform advanced mystical bit tricks. See: Rowhammer exploit crafters


Based Crypto / #basedcrypto
All about using crypto in your life and not caring what authoritarian scaremongers think.


Ciphermi Paradox
The apparent contradiction between the robust in-transit data security provided by a small set of mobile apps that use end-to-end encryption by default and the lack of their widespread adoption by the majority of society.


Ciphertears of Joy
Your reaction when all your favorite websites have switched to HTTPS and have no mixed content errors.


Ciphertextiles
AI-designed fabrics that obfuscate the wearer’s bio-characteristics in order to prevent real-life identification from surveillance and tracking technology that utilize facial recognition, gait analysis, thermal measurements, and other biometric verification methods.


Cryptoponzi Scheme
When a cryptolocker victim receives a kickback if they are able to spread the malware to a friend and the friend pays the ransom.


Cryptoturfing
The practice of masking or deflecting examination of the cryptographic primitives and their implementation in your new “beyond-military-grade” encryption software or product in order to make it appear hacker-proof, investor-worthy, or ground-breaking in some earth-shattering way. An example of security snake oil. See: MyDataAngel


Gonadware
Gonadware, or gonad-supported software, is any software package that automatically and repeatedly kicks the user in the nads in order to generate revenue for its author.


Merchants of Deauth
The nefarious, unscrupulous private cyberarms dealers that sell military-grade wardriving equipment and WiFi jamming hardware to the highest bidder.


MLMITM
Multi-Level-Man-in-the-Middling is a controversial MITM strategy in which the hacker is compensated not only for credentials they intercept, but also for the credentials intercepted by the other hackers that they recruit.


Owlvertising
The use of online advertising to spread owlware. Owlvertising involves injecting owls or owlware-laden advertisements into legitimate online advertising networks and webpages.


Ransomwear
The black hoodies, masks, and gloves that fashionable Russian hackers put on just before they begin writing the malware that encrypts a user’s files and holds it hostage until a ransom is paid.


CryptoFootLocker
A ransomwear retailer that markets to the narrow yet wealthy ‘athletic Windows exploit developer’ demographic.


Mens’ Ransomwearhouse
You’re going to like the way we decrypt your family photos after you send us a bitcoin — I guarantee it!


A Port Scanner Darkly

I wish I could claim this term. Googling reveals that credit goes to Mr. Forcier for his prophetic tweet.

. . .

Ideas that didn’t pan out but maybe someone else can be clever with:

Air Baby Gap
Botflynet
Cipherbiosis
Peer-to-peer Phishing
PostScript Kiddies

. . .

This was originally posted by @CuanticoSec on Medium on Aug 8, 2016, and has been reblogged here for extra juicy time-stampiness.